What’s the Rule?
Before we proceed, I should note that one of my rules here, in addition to this rule at the top:
Do this a few times before you start dating, so you can mentally prepare yourself to be rejected.
I’m going to assume you want to start dating, but that means you’re going to get rejected—that’s the point of starting, after all. This isn’t going to be a page about waltzing in and finding someone who wants to start dating with you. The point of these rules is to help you prepare yourself to react when it happens.
You can take them or leave them, but let’s get into it!
The Bottom Line
In this guide, I talk about things from the perspective of a man who is looking to find a woman. That will probably be different for you, and I don’t expect that to change. I might not be looking for a date, but I might be. You don’t have to agree with my rules to do them, though.
Keep in mind that dating is a very complicated thing to figure out on your own. Everyone has their own rules, they’re always evolving, and everyone is different. This isn’t a hard-and-fast guide, just the principles that work for me and the community I live in. I wish every couple had to follow these, but most of them don’t.
Are You a Robot or a Human Being?
If you’ve been on one date in the past five years and aren’t actively dating, you’re a robot. (Yes, I know your mom.) You might call up a buddy or find yourself bored out of your mind. Get off the dating apps and into something more meaningful, like a hobby or a community service project.
If you’re on a few dates a year and aren’t a robot, you’re a human being, which is great—human beings are awesome, but robotic people are closer to being human beings in space.
The more you put yourself out there, the more you’re more likely to get hurt. There’s a stark difference between a casual fling and someone who wants to settle down. Some people are like Bob from Home Improvement, and some people are like Rita.* Only one of those is really worth your time.
You Should Do This If:
Getting rejected sucks. (Cannot stress this enough.) If you’re wired this way, you might https://www.freeadultdatingx.com/articles/why-hookup-online-a-foreign-girl-meet-international-lovers
It’s important to be clear-headed about your expectations before you dive into the dating pool, because it’s easy to get discouraged when you don’t feel like you’re meeting a lot of men online. But dating is not about how many people you meet, but how well you connect with them and how much you enjoy their company. So don’t get too stressed out about meeting someone if you’re not getting many replies to your messages.
If you’re an introvert, someone who holds a job that requires you to be in the workplace more than 8 hours a day, or someone who’s really busy with family and work commitments, don’t just give up and say no to dating. There’s nothing wrong with being a good homebody, but if you’re tired and don’t have the energy to do anything on a date, it’s not a good feeling. We all need time to be alone to recharge our batteries, so don’t deprive yourself of that just because it’s tough to date when you don’t have time to make it happen.
Also, don’t assume that you won’t meet someone who is “the one” because you aren’t willing to date a guy in his 20s or 30s just because you want to be with a serious, long-term relationship. If you choose not to date a man in his 20s or 30s, then you’re limiting your dating pool and the types of men you’ll meet, which could end up pushing you into an unhappy relationship. The majority of men in their 20s and 30s do want serious, long-term relationships.
If you decide to date in your 30s, expect to meet several guys who will become future boyfriends, but they will be similar in appearance and personality, even if you don’t like them as much as the man you end up choosing to be with. If you don’t like your chances of meeting many guys in your 30s, here are some suggestions to help you get started on a path to your ultimate man:
Start looking in your 20s
If you want to meet men in your 30s, then you may want to change your focus and make yourself more approachable to men in your 20s, or your 30s. If you’re the type of woman who holds a high-paying job or goes to a ton of parties in your 20s, then you will be able to meet a lot of men. But if you struggle